People sometimes ask me: “Tell me, what are interpersonal skills?”

I think one of the reasons they ask is that interpersonal skills are skills we use when we interact with people, and that there are so many different ways to interact that it’s difficult to define.

My take on this is that when our interaction with others gives us the result we want, and it gives the other person the result they want, we used our interpersonal skills successfully. I always aim at a win-win in any situation I’m in.

The thing is that we all have interpersonal skills. As we grow up and learn how to communicate with others, we learn ways to communicate and deal with people that are better than other ways.

Interpersonal skills have a lot to do with communication skills. That is because when we interact with others, we always communicate. These are skills we use every day. The question now is, are you using these skills in a way that creates more harmony between you and others?

Are you using these skills so that you and the other person get the results you want? I would call interpersonal skills relationship building skills. Because when we are with other people, we relate to them. And here, the question is: how well are you relating to other people?

There’s always room to improve your interpersonal skills, your communication skills, and your relationship building skills. And the better your interpersonal skills the more successful you are in your personal and professional life.

Do you know how to create that feeling of trust and understanding that we all crave from others?

Do know how to express your own needs so that the other person doesn’t feel attacked?

Do you know how to give emotional support to someone else, and in such a way that they can solve their own problem?

Do you know how to settle differences and disagreements so that nobody feels resentful about the outcome?

Interpersonal skills include assertiveness skills, listening skills, conflict resolution skills, problem solving skills. The most important skill though, in my opinion, is creating an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and understanding. This skill alone allows you to get the other person to cooperate with you. It allows you to get what you want in such a way that the other person doesn’t feel resentful. Because when you do it right the other person gets what they want too. A real win-win…!

What Are Inter-personal Skills is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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Hi there,

I will be putting up a whole series of videos on this page that will look at the question…

How Well Do Your Communication Skills Work..?

And if they don’t why not ?

There is a lot of debate about this. It’s the old nature vs. nurture argument. From research that we’ve read here at Top Communication Skills the evidence is not only overwhelming but also fascinating.

Imagine That You Can Improve Your Results…just by making a slight shift in the way that you experience “stuff”. This will, of course, change the you think and react to everything that life throws at you.

AND…

If life is throwing stuff at you then why aren’t you either stepping to one side or ducking ?

We intend to answer all of these questions and more, here on this page.

Hang on tight. You’re in for an interesting….and eye opening, ride.

Communication Skills-The Inside Story On Why Your Communication Skills May Not Be Working…? is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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The quality of your  interpersonal communication skills  are a perfect reflection of your success in life. Your expertise in this area will decide how much money you have, where you live, the car you drive and the friends and contacts you have. There is a saying: “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Who you know is decided by your ability to create effective relationships. Your ability to create effective relationships is determined by your interpersonal communication skills. I’d like to go through a few of the aspects of interpersonal skills that work.

Successful People have a Positive Outlook and a Can-Do Attitude to Life

Don’t be fooled into thinking these people were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Of the 500 richest people in the United States of America, only two came from a wealthy background. The rest got where they are through hard work, determination and their ability to create the right relationships with the right people.

Every time you meet someone, whether you have met them before, or not, you are selling yourself. You want them to like you and to cooperate with you, and in most cases you want to feel the same way about them.

Since the beginning of time, when we first climbed down from the trees on the plains of Africa, the whole of humanity’s progress has been based on cooperation. Without someone else covering our back when out hunting; without the power of the group to tend the first crops or build the first cities, we would be eating bamboo shoots and living in the jungle.

Cooperative communication and relationships is the thing that distinguishes humanity from the other animals. The development of language allows us to dream and visualize and to communicate that dream to others so that all of the tribe can work together. We are now all part of the same global tribe. The Internet and instant communication now makes it possible to share your thoughts and dreams with another person on the opposite side of the planet, in a matter of seconds.

At this point in history it it more important than ever to have first class interpersonal communication skills. Because of the constant bombardment from the media, it is difficult to stand out against the background noise. Only through having effective interpersonal communication skills and systems can you hope to ever be more than “yeah, me too”. This is one of the other things that the super successful have mastered. They have learned how to build good cooperative relationships with others, in just the same way that our ancient forbearers did. They have learned to harness the power of the masses through personality, charisma and leadership. With these three qualities you could drop them in the middle of the desert or a jungle and they would succeed.

At the root of every success story is the ability to create teams, relationships and win-win situations. The sooner you start to practice and master these skills, the quicker your success and satisfaction in life will come.

Interpersonal Communication Skills is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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You’re probably wondering what you can do to improve your communication skills. One of the most important things to decide on first is the reason that you want to improve your communication skills.

There are many great reasons to improve communication skills, and they include to have better relationships with family, colleagues, neighbors and friends. It may be that you want to improve your position in your job or your business. It may be for that all important interview so that you get the job you really want and know that you deserve. Another reason may be to get that hot date with the object of your affections.

Once you’ve established your reason, let’s look at the different methods you can use to improve communication skills.

Flying Solo

You can buy books, DVDs, CDs and spend many hours trying to work out the areas where you can get better interpersonal skills. This is a great starting point, as you will learn some basic techniques and strategies.

Getting a Coach

Having your own personal coach to help you to get better communication skills is probably the most effective method, however it’s also the most expensive one. If you have lots of money and time, then this is the route for you. A good communication skills coach will give you tasks to do between appointments and will also check to ensure that you have completed them and that you are competent with the skills. Ideally, a coach will also structure things in a way that each session builds on what you learned in the previous session.

Group Training

There are many excellent group trainings that are available. One that I have used and recommend is Transforming Communication. This is a comprehensive 4 day off-line course that teaches you everything you need to know if you wish to improve communication skills. The downside of this course is that you will have to travel to the venue, pay for travel costs, hotels and local transport. You will also probably have to give up personal time or vacation time so you can attend.

Online Training

There are numerous online communication skills training and I would invite you to check all them out by doing a search on Google using the keyword term “online communication skills training”.

The Benefits of Online Communication Skills Training

Good trainings will give you instant access to the course material. You’ll also get a downloadable workbook you can use in your own time. The course will be clearly and logically structured and each lesson will build on the previous one in just such a way that you will progressively improve communication skills. It will include training material on who actually has the problem, conflict resolution, rapport skills, listening skills, leading and pacing and consulting.

Other advantages of online training include still being able to spend time with your family and friends (you can even invite them to take part in the training with you so everyone benefits). You don’t have to give up valuable vacation time. You save on travel and hotel costs. Your income, job, or business is not affected.

All these different ways to improve communication skills are all equally valid. The method you choose is dependant on your needs, your ambitions, the time you’ve got available and the amount you think you’re worth.

Improve Communication Skills is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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When asked “What’s the importance of communication?”, I usually reply, “What’s the importance of your friends, your family and your colleagues?” Communication is the glue that holds society together.

I’d like you to imagine living in a world where you could not convey your ideas or thoughts to another person. Imagine being in a place of great beauty, that takes your breath away, and not being able to share it. Imagine, if you will, a time of great need, of crisis, where nobody had the power to guide or be guided to find a solution.

Those who overlook the importance of communication and their own ability to take control of their lives, are usually found at the bottom of the economic pile.

Communication skills and the human mind are the two most powerful tools we have at our disposal. We can choose to use them for good or for evil. It’s my belief that the majority of people do things for the good of many. Every action has the highest intention at its root.

Given that communication skills hold the fabric of your world together, does it not make sense to enhance your skill level so that your world becomes more secure. That your world becomes safer for your family, your friends and others that you love. As I’ve said in other articles on this site, humanity’s progress and success has been entirely dependent on our ability to cooperate and work together for the common good.

Our ability to work together and cooperate is, in its turn, entirely dependent on our ability to clearly communicate problems, challenges, and solutions that we can achieve together. And that is the importance of communication.

Importance of Communication is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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You may be sitting reading this, waiting for me to tell you how to get more effective communication skills. Instead, I’m going to illustrate for you the costs to you of not having effective communication. Some of this may apply to you, and if you’re one of the fortunate few, none of this will apply to you.

Without good communication skills you’re likely to be in a lower income bracket which will cause you to have frustration and hardship in your life. You’re less able to improve this situation by getting a different job or a promotion.

The car you drive and where you live will also be affected by your financial status. I’m sure you’ve noticed that all those people in the big house, you know the one, the one you would love to live in, are all smooth talkers.

They weren’t born that way. They probably started off in a situation very similar to yours.

Did you know that multimillionaire businessman,Tony Robbins, wanted to be a truck driver when he left school so that he could be the highest earning member of his family? He wanted to make about 36’000 dollars a year. Didn’t he do well? He recently received a four hundred million pay-out from a share deal with one of his eleven companies.

Without effective communication, your relationships with friends, family, colleagues are probably not the way you want them to be. The odds of you marrying the gal or guy of your dreams are greatly reduced. Because when you don’t feel confident about your ability to communicate, you’re going to be seen as nervous, gawky and maybe a little weird. Ask yourself, are these the qualities that will attract the homecoming queen or the football jock to you?

In conflict situations, you’re less likely to be able to defend yourself verbally and you’ll probably feel really frustrated every time you have any form of dispute in your life. Wouldn’t it be great to know you can go into any situation and wipe the smirk off of the wiseguy’s face.

The crazy thing is that anybody can have effective communication skills just by applying themselves and taking control of their destiny. Imagine how good you’ll feel when you make that decision to take control over your life, your finances, where you live, the car you drive, and the level of respect you get in your relationships from your friends, family and neighbors.

There are many articles and links to resources on this site, please be patient if they’re not there yet. We’ll be posting them as soon as we possibly can. We’re looking forward to assisting you to get the life you really want, instead of the one you think you’re stuck with.

Effective Commmunication Skills is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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Good communication skills are essential for relationships. This applies to every area in your life. Communication in your relationships, at work, at home, with friends, family and colleagues. If you look at situations where it is obvious to you there is conflict, chaos or discord, the root cause is usually poor communication skills.

What are the basic components of good communication skills? Let’s look at them one by one.

1. Be clear on what you want. By this, I mean that you know how you want your life to be or any situation that you’re currently involved in. Lack of focus and clarity is a major cause of frustration and this may be why you feel like your life is going in circles.

2. Speak clearly and with enough volume that others can hear and understand what you say. Another aspect of this is using the type of language that is familiar to the listener. This will help you create rapport with them.

3. The way you present yourself. What I mean by this is being dressed and groomed in a manner that is the same or similar to those you’re speaking to. In the same way that using similar language style as the listener, this will make them feel that you’re the same as them and they are more likely to listen to you and hear you.

4. Good communication skills also include speaking to people about the things that interest them. Like it or not, most people love nothing better than the opportunity to discuss things that are dear to their heart. The favorite topic of conversation is usually… them. It’s ok for them to be like that, and knowing this gives you a powerful advantage over everybody else who just wants to tell their own story.

5. Listen well. How do you listen well? Instead of rehearsing over and again what you’re going to say to the other person the next time they pause for breath, you will do better if you listen to what they are saying and reflect back “keywords” that they use more than once. This will indicate to them that you’re actually interested in what they’re saying and will rapidly make you a person they trust.

6. Choose your audience. Even if you use all of the strategies I’ve outlined above, you may still feel that you’re not heard or understood. This probably has nothing to do with whether or not you’ve got good communication skills. There are some people in the world who are so rapped up in themselves that they do not know how to listen to others, are not interested in listening and probably never will.

If you know someone like this, forward them a link to this article as it may make a difference in their life, and it will definitely make a difference in yours.

7. Know your subject. I’m assuming here that you want good communication skills to be able to influence others. It is more likely that people will listen to you if they believe you know what you’re talking about. In most instances, they will definitely listen to you if they think you’re an expert. Becoming an expert is a topic for a future article I will post on this site.

When you improve your communication skills using the tips just outlined, you will notice an almost immediate improvement in how you’re received.  This will in turn improve your levels of satisfaction and happiness.

Good Communication Skills is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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How do you measure how effective your communication is ?

Before I go any further this is just a quick note to you to let you know there will be a series of articles posted on this site over the next few months that will assist you to learn effective communication.

Here’s a question for you to consider…

Is there a magic sign that lets you know if you have effective communication  or not.
The obvious answer is the results that you get. However the results that you get aren’t neccesarily the results that you want.

When planning any form of communication you need to have a clearly stated outcome, goal or objective. The more detailed that goal is the more likely you are to get what you really want.This is because once you have your goal/s clearly described and recorded you have something to measure your results against. And once you have that specification to measure against you are then able to adjust your results by altering your message to the world.

One of the Pre-suppositions of NLP is that there is no such thing as failure…only feedback. What this means is that by specifying the result that you want, you are then clear on which aspects ( if any ) you haven’t got, yet.

Once you are clear on your expected results or outcomes….

The way that you communicate your message is the next stage.
Now just so you know, I’m not going to go into any great depth here as what you’re learning here is the basics from a five day advanced communications skill training we’ll be releasing shortly. This training will go into such detail that you will be able to get exactly what you want if you apply what you learn.

How you communicate is made up of many aspects. These include:

• Verbal
• Nonverbal – which includes things like the
• way that you dress and your hairstyle  as well as
• body postures and positions. These are all aspects of Visual communication. They can be further divided into
• conscious and
• unconscious communication. 
• Auditory- This includes your
• language patterns,
• your volume,
•  tonality,
• pitch of voice,
• tempo and
• speed of speech.  

At a very detailed level there is alsoolfactory which means smell and gustatory or tastes. These last two forms of communication are not so dominant in humans any more but are still important in the ways that animals communicate.

The way that you assemble all of these aspects will determine how effective your communication is. There is also the factorwhich few people talk about which is practising these skills regularly until such times that you become unconsciously skilled at using them. What this means is that in much the same way that you struggled to learn to walk you now do it without having to plan every step. You just get up and you do it.

This article is intended as a pre-frame for further articles I will publish for you. It’s intention is for you to become aware of
How clear you really are on your outcomes or goals
To also become curious about the ways that you are communicating Right now.
To open up your model of the world  another NLP term which simply means how you experience the world and your life
And Lastly to close with this thought.
If something is possible in my neurology ( my thinking or life ) then it is also possible in your neurology.

You simply have to learn then apply and practise the skills

Aspects of Effective Communication is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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Business communication…What do you think of when you hear those words ?It is intended that this article will give an overview on  the mindset that may be neccesary in your business communication. As such this is one article in a series of many that will build on each other.

So what is business communication?

Is it what is said within the business from the CEO to the deputy CEO, or maybe even further down the ladder ?

Maybe it is how and what the business communicates to clients, customers, partners and suppliers ?

It could be about interactions between colleagues and team members or with the team leader.

There are so many different forms of communication in business

Including the electronic variety from computer to computer…. and then from the recipient to accounts perhaps.
There are so many different types of communication in business that for ease of understanding I will divide them broadly into two parts.

I will deal with the second type which is the delivery mechanisms such as hardware and software in future articles.
For now I wish to focus on the human or interpersonal aspect of communication.

The first is what is actually said and the meanings behind it. The meanings can be divided into two basic aspects.

What the sender of the message wanted to convey AND what was understood by the recipient.

You may be noticing a pattern, here which is that every communication has at least two aspects or parties to it. This is similar to contracts and there may well be as much  legal  weight and legal obligation attached to a communication as any other form of contract…

Assuming that you are the sender.

Your message must contain the correct information, formatted in a way that the recipient of your message can easily understand it.Your message should be clear and unambivalent so that there is no room for misinterpretation. All business communication should be carefully considered in the light of any effects on contracts already in place or any ongoing or planned  negotiations.

 Your business communication should also, ideally

contain a mechanism for clarifying anything that the recipient may be unclear on. An example of this is an FAQ ( frequently asked questions ) page on a website. It is not a given that your FAQ page will answer all of the queries that someone may have, so it is advisable to have other mechanisms in place such as a customer support freephone number as well.    

Whoever is on duty on these numbers should be well trained, polite and able to handle what may potentially be, difficult calls. You may wish to have a system in place whereby your customer support can pass calls outside of their expertise to a supervisor or even to a more senior person.

There must also be a system in place

for keeping records of all communications received. This should include times, dates and the names and contact details of all parties involved. It should also include information about who said what and this may also include the use of call recording software that is filed in an accessible system for later retrieval. In most instances this is probably excessive but you never know when an event will be escalated into a full blown dispute. The mindframe is one of ensuring that your business’s interests are protected.

As the sender you are responsible

for providing a clear and unequivocal message that cannot be misinterpreted and the means for clarifying it should there be any doubt. You are also responsible for protecting the interests of your employer, yourself or your company. Where neccesary take appropriate legal advice on the wording of documents or planned conversations as how something is said can drastically change it’s legal meaning or interpretation.

DISCLAIMER:

Please be aware that in no way does anything in this article constitute legal or business advice. You are advised to seek a professional legal opinion from your legal representative.
This article on business communication merely reflects what has worked for me over the last thirty years while running import companies, large construction projects and various other enterprises.

Business Communication is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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Without all of the tools that you need to have to have great communication skill you are probably at a disadvantage
when you think about it and examine all of the great people of history or of the present day they all have one thing in common. Almost completely without exception they are powerful communicators.

So, what are some of the different aspects of excellent communication skill ?

I believe that the first aspect is having a message that is big enough, that you just have to share it with others. With your community, your family, the country you live in or the whole world. Your message will burn inside of you like a bright flame and will touch move and inspire not only you but other people as well.

It will be visionary in nature and be a new perspective for how others see the world.

Obviously your vision must touch a problem or anxiety deep within the soul of your audience so that they know you understand them and their pain.
Your vision should also offer a solution to that pain that is easy to implement by giving those you are speaking to a fresh perspective on what the problem really is. A paradigm shift on a deep level.

Those who have this level of communication skill will also believe on a deep level within themself in the validity of their vision.

By having that degree of belief in your solution, your idea, your vision: you gain passion and enthusiasm when you share your message. Enthusiastic sharing is a powerful way to get other people to commit to you and to your ideas. Without the passion everything that you say, either using verbal or nonverbal communication will have a hollow ring to it that your audience and others you speak to, will spot from a hundred miles away.  

Be genuine and don’t try to pull the wool over peoples eyes.

Experts in communication skill are also experts in their subject matter. You will have done your research and weighed up the pros and cons. You will have come to a reasoned conclusion that is backed up by data from credible sources and credible people. You will be able to quote abstracts from relevant data during your discussions or presentation without having to pause and try to remember.

Just by having the two aspects I have discussed above you will gain confidence and certainty in your ability to deliver your message. Being confident and being seen as confident are also critical factors in good communication skill.

But wait…There is more…. 

Enthusiasm confidence and expertise are only the start on your journey to great communication skill.

There is also things like the speed of speech or talking, your tone, pitch and where you insert pauses….Or not !

Next is your physical appearence as around 80% of how people experience the world is through visual. You have probably heard the expression that you only ever get one chance to make a good first impression. This applies not only to your clothes but also your hair, skin and clean teeth. Maybe I’m going a little overboard here and that is because I want you to have a comprehensive check list of things to consider.

People will form an impression of you

In the first two seconds and they will make a decision on who you are in that first brief view of you. From that impression they will then make a decision about you in their unconscious mind that may take some serious work to alter or modify.

Another thing to consider is your body language. What your body says to other people is almost entirely unconscious   and makes up around 93% of your impresions of other people.

AND…

Their impression of you…

Other things to consider are anchored states. You will use these to create the right frame of mind before you even start to communicate. Expert communicators also use anchored states to create a receptive frame of mind with their audience. These can be tonal, positional and may involve the use of timelines and other tactics.

You can relax about all of the things above as I will be going into each of the things in this article in more detail in subsequent articles posted on this site.

In the mean time

you can maybe consider what it is that you believe in strongly enough that you have to communicate it with your world…
By the way…I know that some of you may not know yet what it is you wish to say….But if you were to know….What would it be ? 

Communication skill- An insiders tips and tricks for you is a post from: Top Communication Skills

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