Resolve the Hidden Cause of Problem
June 6th, 2010
How to Resolve the Hidden Cause of
Painful Problems at Work
By: Steven Gaffney
We have all been in a conversation or worked with someone, and we’ve all had something to say but debated whether we should even bother saying it. Or maybe you had an idea or advice to give and thought, “Should I say it or not? Ah, forget it, they probably don’t want to hear it, and it will probably just cause an argument. It isn’t worth it.”
Before you stop to answer whether it is worth bringing up or not, consider these statistics:
An average employee loses seven weeks of productivity every year because of troublesome and unresolved communication issues.
Lack of open, honest communication is at the root of 80 percent of problems at work.
Nearly 75 percent of employees who leave their jobs do so because of communication issues with their boss — not money.
The number one factor that drives employees to be engaged in their job is their relationship with their boss.
Now, put those statistics aside and answer this question. Sharing something or keeping it inside, which takes more energy? If you are like most people, keeping things inside is more stressful. When you finally share it with someone the outcome usually is not as bad as you feared.
Having been “in the trenches” working with thousands of individuals from organizations of every size for more than a decade, we have discovered that the root cause of most problems is a lack of honest communication and the subsequent withholding of issues, information and ideas.
How often have you said to yourself, “If they had just told me what was bothering them and what they wanted, I could have done something about it.” Or, “If I just had all the necessary information to do my job, I could have made a better decision in a fraction of the time and done it so much better.” Recently, a participant in one of my seminars shared that his wife of more than 25 years told him she was unhappy and wanted a divorce. The worst part about this is that he never saw it coming. He never knew she was unhappy.
Honesty is not only about telling the truth vs. telling a lie. That’s just what everyone talks about. Honesty is about saying what needs to be said and not withholding information and ideas.
Most people are unaware how much simply not being honest hurts relationships, curbs teamwork, stunts innovation, wastes millions in productivity and restricts the ability to generate new business. Unfortunately, some people think hording knowledge means power, while the reality is withholding can be toxic to every relationship at home and at work. Here are a few costly results of dishonesty:
Poor decisions are made based on a fraction of the potential information.
When vital information is not shared in a timely manner and expectations are not honestly managed, contracts develop problems and customers are lost.
Departments don’t share important information and, thus, can’t work effectively with each other.
Meetings become exasperating and unproductive because real issues are not discussed or resolved.
Co-workers avoid each other instead of working together and resolving issues.
People leave their jobs because of unresolved relationship issues.
Instead of talking to each other, people hide behind e-mail.
Office politics and hidden agendas cause employees to spend time developing back up and contingency plans rather than focusing on the work at hand.
People do not feel free to share the innovative, raw and crazy ideas that could be refined to make the organization incredibly successful and profitable.
According to a national study, 91 percent of people lie on a regular basis, and, in reality, the other nine percent were probably lying. The truth is that all people lie or withhold to some extent. It’s not because they are malicious or ethically flawed (though that can be a problem for some); it is primarily because they are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, afraid of retribution for being honest, afraid it will permanently damage their relationships, afraid that it will affect their careers, etc.
People are afraid of the reaction they’ll get when they share what they feel or what they know. They wonder: Will others be appreciative or resentful? Will they take the feedback to heart or become defensive? Will I be respected for saying what needs to be said or will I be seen as a troublemaker? Fear keeps people from sharing vital information causing organizations, employees and families to suffer.
When we reduce fear, we can increase honest, open communication — information, thoughts and ideas — that can improve and have a positive impact on the organization. People want to be upfront and express their ideas. As I have already mentioned, it takes more emotional energy to keep things inside than to let things out. The key is to create an environment where people feel safe to do so.
The Solution: Three Keys
Our years of working with thousands of people have uncovered three keys essential to getting people to stop withholding, say what needs to be said and get others to say what needs to be said. By instituting these three keys through specific real-world strategies, relationships can be fixed and grow at home and work, and organizations can boost teamwork, increase productivity and generate new business. As we all know, no matter how great we are at something we can always improve.
Key 1. We all need to be aware that people tend not to be open and honest and withhold information and ideas. For example: When we say we are too busy when we really don’t want to deal with someone; when we say everything is fine, when things are not because we fear potential backlash if we are upfront. We need to recognize others are doing the same to us.
Many of us don’t realize that we often unknowingly encourage others not to be honest with us by getting defensive or upset when someone tells us bad news or unpleasant feedback. So the next time that person has to tell us something important, the poor bearer of bad news is too scared to be honest and instead does not say anything. Awareness is the first step to changing the situation.
Key 2. Leaders need to advocate, demonstrate and reward honesty. We are all leaders at home and at work. We lead our families and at work we lead our boss, our co-workers and our employees. As leaders in our lives, we need to not only advocate the value of honesty but also consistently demonstrate it through full disclosure, encouraging feedback and positively reacting even when people give us unpleasant news. This also means apologizing and taking full responsibility when we make mistakes. Remember, there is no statue of limitations on apologies. If we owe someone an apology, we need to apologize; just because they don’t bring it up doesn’t mean they have forgotten or that they are over what happened. So model and reward the behavior you seek in others.
Key 3. You must provide the strategies and skills for candid, honest communication and develop an environment where others feel safe to practice them. We must learn how to say what needs to be said. We must be aware of the difference between honesty and brutality, clear on the facts and careful not to accuse or blame. Honesty is not about sharing all of our opinions, because often people don’t care about our opinions. Take responsibility for your “mind chatter” and how you see things. Check-in with what we “imagine” (opinions, thoughts and conclusions) by asking effective questions from a sincere position that you may be missing something and are not fully aware of what is going on. Make requests, suggest ideas, focus on finding a solution, state the benefits for others to fulfill your request and share ideas.
When everyone stops hinting around an issue and are transparent and candid, issues and problems can be addressed and resolved, relationships can be transformed, people can do their jobs significantly better, and organizations become more innovative, teamwork improves and revenue goals are achieved. Both our home and work life becomes more enjoyable and rewarding. By using these strategies and techniques, many have saved their marriages, resolved issues that had never been resolved and get promoted when it had seemed impossible.
So here is the challenge — what are people withholding from you? The scary part is we don’t know. The good news is we can take action and do something about it.
Honesty takes strategy, skill and practice. After all, you don’t go out and exercise once and declare “Now I am healthy.” Instead we must work on it. The idea is to make improvements — not to be perfect but to be willing to feel awkward. If we do, the benefits are enormous. Just imagine if you and everyone around you really talked more openly and shared ideas and wisdom with each other. Ask everyone in your life to read this article, discuss it and then share what you are going to do differently. The way to change your future is by changing today.
Copyright, 2007 Steven Gaffney Company, All Rights Reserved. To distribute or replicate this article in any way please contact the Steven Gaffney Company at 703-241-7796 or via email at Christina@StevenGaffney.com.
Steven Gaffney
http://www.articlesbase.com/strategic-planning-articles/resolve-the-hidden-cause-of-problem-162999.html
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See also:
- Speaking on your Feet (June 14th, 2010)
- Why Summer Camps France is Growing Popular? (June 10th, 2010)
- How to Enrich your Advertisement Copy (May 15th, 2010)
- Churchill – Right or Wrong ? an Analysis (May 10th, 2010)
- Reading Body Language For Your Success (May 8th, 2010)
June 6th, 2010 at 3:15 am
How do AGW debaters resolve problems that do not have black-and-white answers?
If a cardiologist told you that you were likely to have a heart attack in a few years unless you stopped eating fried food, would you:
a) Argue that no one has ever seen a heart attack with their own eyes (it’s always hidden inside the body)
b) Say that as it is just "likely", it isn’t proven so until it happens, don’t change your habits
c) Find a chiropodist who tells you everything’s OK
d) Find a mechanic who tells you everything’s OK
e) Talk to 30 cardiologists until you find one (employed by a fast food company) who says there’s nothing to worry about
f) Argue that the guy at the other table is eating fries and he’s not dying
g) Bring up research showing that the leading cause of death for women in Afghanistan is child birth
h) Cut back on the fried food, at least a little bit, just in case he’s right
i) Not get the point and tell me this should be in ‘health and medicine’
j) Argue that humans don’t learn by experience and/or drawing comparisons
(Now apply this to GW!)
Edit:
Good point, sfavourite, although perhaps sidestepping my point… note the doctor doesn’t say the patient is in imminent danger hence those tests might not find anything; the doctor is saying that your behaviour puts you at higher risk but if you change now, you may never need those tests…
Edit:
birddog, I’ll put you down as an a or b then – basic disbelief in the professionals?
ken – your l) is what I meant by my f) but I hadn’t thought of k)… good one!
plaster – both the planet and the body are dynamic & living and experience cycles; the analogy is that we can influence the cycles – temps don’t have to stay the same, just as our own temps vary and the concentrations of substances in our blood stream varies. However, if temperature or concentration of substances varies beyond normal ranges, well, we become sick… I think you’re an i) or a j)
Friendly neighbourhood etc… I did float the question less obviously before but no one got it that time! I know this is a bit hammer-nut approach and apologies for offending the intelligence of some – good to see you didn’t fall for it! Until we cross swords another time then…
evans – that’s definitely a b)! Ignore the professional until it’s too late! But you did it with grace and humour so all is not lost…
eric – interesting premise but as it was my question, I’ll stick with my parameters so no operation!
As for cutting back on CO2, of course there will be consequences, some negative, but most positive. I have spent most of the last 10 years in the developing world so I am very familiar with how people need cheap energy. But I am also familiar with how climate change is affecting this very same group who are vulnerable to those affects… I’m putting you down as a k) (Ken’s k, that is)
And Amy wins the "doing it all for the best reasons!" award while…
…heretic is a b) don’t see nothing wrong until… coronary! (mind you, s/he almost falls into i)
And a perfect ending: davem with a great a)/b); "it ain’t happening despite what all the experts tell me…"!
June 6th, 2010 at 8:17 am
Wow, great question.
I would choose h) of course.
Wonder what skeptics will say.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:19 am
How about k?
k) Use the MRI Contrast Agent
This is a scientific experiment that "allow physicians to peer directly into patients’ blood vessels and find dangerous cholesterol-filled plaques before they rupture and cause a heart attack."
or l
l) the use of cardiac magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to view heart damage
So what would be the scientific test to show global warming?
References :
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080417/MRI_study_080417/20080417?hub=Health
June 6th, 2010 at 8:21 am
To make this question more realistic, we would first have to assume our doctor was from the 18th century, because climatology is most definitely in it’s infancy. To say that modern cardiologists and so-called climate experts are on a level playing field is ludicrous. 18th century doctors might recommend you get a "bleeding," which probably would be comparable to modern climate experts recommending we cut back on CO2, truly the life blood of our planet.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:23 am
How about one of these:
k) Healthy food is too expensive, it would ruin my budget if I were forced to eat healthy!!! (AKA economy alarmism)
l) It happens every day and people died even before fried food was around. (AKA it’s natural)
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:25 am
What does eating fried food = eating unhealthy and being a heart attack candidate have to do with the Earth going through natural cyclical changes? Seeing as how it’s a dynamic living environment. Who is to say temperatures have to stay constant from one year to the next?
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:27 am
Well, I would do h), but unfortunately, this situation doesn’t really relate at all to global warming. Nice try, though.
Next time, try to make your intentions a bit less obvious.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:29 am
I’d tell the doctor I’m a 30 year old male with no family history of heart disease, a resting heart rate of 60, BP of 80/60, and as a Southerner, I’m not giving up my grandma’s chicken! I then tell him to stop harassing strangers in the parking lot to drum up support for legislation against KFC. That’d be answer "k".
Edit (Ken): Must be a blue moon rising tonight…great answer! There’s a good chance one of your suggestions would’ve been my top choice on such a quiz!
Edit (Adam): No, it isn’t a "b". Kook on street claiming to be a heart specialist announces fried food causes heart attacks. The question becomes, "Through what mechanism?" Kook then states fried foods are high in bad cholesterol, causing a build up of plaque in the circulatory system, eventually leading to coronary distress and failure. "How does one check the plaque levels in one’s circulatory system?" You can have invasive procedures done, you can have imaging procedures performed, or you can measure your BP as a proxy. Having recently checked my BP, I can reasonably assume I am in no danger of having excessive plaque build up, thus I can continue to reap the benefits of a high protein and tasty diet of fried chicken. In my case it isn’t "likely, with little proof". In my case, the evidence proves otherwise.
A much better analogy would have been smoking. Science still doesn’t fully understand how carcenogens cause cancer….they only have statistical data to apply this label on substances.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:31 am
What if your cardiologist says you need an operation to survive. If you have this operation there is a good chance you might die. Now there are many other cardiologists (not one like you say) who disagree with him. No operation is necessary and all will be fine. What do you do?
The notion we can cut back today on co2 emissions without any consequences is a myth. There are billions of people on this planet who have seen their standards of living expand tremendously because of cheap energy. People who think that we can cut co2 emissions without any consequences are the true deniers.
Edit: Ken. Any solutions without nuclear power is economic catastrophe. While I appreciate the fact that you are for it, unfortunately, the obstacle to nuclear power is not by the skeptics but the environmental movement.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:33 am
I’d begin to cut back on the fried food (h), get a 2nd opinion, and go to the library, bookstore and online to find out what I could do to get my life in order so that I could hang around the planet while my grandson grows up, my son gets married and starts a family, and I could stay healthy enough to try Mt. Whitney again. Not something you want to do if you’re a candidate for a heart attack.
Good analogy, I’m sure many will deflect your sword with their sabers.
References :
http://www.helpguide.org/life/fast_food_nutrition.htm
http://www.slashfood.com/2006/04/27/food-porn-deep-fried-oreos/
June 6th, 2010 at 8:35 am
So your assuming that we all are going to die from a heart attack? How about a bee sting, spider bite, slip and fall, auto accidents, natural catastrophes…etc. I don’t buy into this question, but I can relate to the speculation on GW. Hey!… if everything is working, why fix it(as if you could)? Your just going to make it or something else worse.
ed: no I just gave a subjective answer to a subjective question. That’s the problem with question like these. I don’t have a history of heart problems, so why pretend that I do?
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:37 am
Hmm I’d have to go with
k) I was watching this Alien Autopsy documentary, and they concluded the alien had died of a heart attack. Since aliens don’t eat fried food, it can’t be the cause of heart attacks.
But you know what humans and aliens have in common? Breathing oxygen. That’s why the aliens came to Earth. So if I just stop breathing oxygen, I won’t have a heart attack. Problem solved.
Seriously though, I’d sure as hell stop eating fried food, and do tons of research to see what else I could do to minimize my risk of a heart attack.
In relation to AGW, what I’ve done is reduce my personal carbon footprint, studied the science thoroughly, and taken every step I can think of to address the problem. Pretty similar.
References :
June 6th, 2010 at 8:39 am
What a cardiologist says is based on real science. GW is based on leftist politics.
But maybe, since you mention it, it’s time Al stopped eating so much.
References :