Body language is one of the hidden* *communication skills…**
Most times you’re not even aware of the hidden messages that you’re body language is sending, though you’ll probably notice the effect that it has on others.

So what is body language and why is it important ?

Well, basically body language is one of the ways that you communicate with others subtly. The reason that I say subtly is because most of the time the other person is not consciously aware of the message that you’re sending. It’s a bit like the little kid who has had his hands in the cookie jar. Mom says ” Have you been eating the chocolate cookies ? ” and the kid feeling guilty and a bit defensive says “No”

Mom knows better of course because the kid has got chocolate all around their mouth…
Body language is a bit like the chocolate around your mouth. It gives those who know what to look for, lots of clues about what you really meant when you said something. Or to be more precise what your body language says you really mean.

Interestingly enough, over 85 % of all communication is unconscious. that is to say it’s based on messages you’re getting that you’re not even consciously aware of. And did you know that your conscious mind can only handle around 70 bits of information per second. Mostly to do with important events and stimuli.

The unconscious mind, however, can deal with around 2,500,000- 3,000,0000 bits of information a second. I believe that this is where those gut instinct feelings come from.

It’s a reality check that can be used to determine whether or not you actually believe what someone has said. And it all happpens without you even realising why your not sure about someone and what they said.

I know that on the odd occasion that I have blatantly ignored my gut instinct I have often regretted it but that’s a story for another time…

To have *effective communication* everything should be congruent. That is to say, all your messages whether conscious or unconscious are all saying the same thing. Now most times you will be doing that and people do adjust to your communication style. They know that you really are a brilliant person. You really know your stuff but that maybe you’re not quite as confident as your words say you are and hey that’s not really a problem.

However, for those of you who have a lot invested in your **communication skills**body language becomes a critical factor. if you are a trainer, a coach, a teacher,a sales person or a parent it’s important that you get your message across in such a way that it inspires confidence and trust.

I believe that trust is the most important factor in building and maintaining relationships and when you are trusted people will respect you more…

So, what are the components of body language ?

Body language can be divided into several parts and include

*-your stance ( the way that you stand and position your body )

*- Your gestures

* – Your facial expression

*- The way that you breathe

* unconscious gestures such as how fast you blink

*- and for the space cadets amongst you ….even your pulse rate…( a trained person can get in rapport with you just by mimmicking your pulse or your eye blink rate, by tapping their finger in time with it. this is pretty deep stuff and you can relax as it’s not part of mainstream teaching on the topic of body language.

There are also other factors such as verbal communication etc but as this is about body language we’ll leave that for another time. I will be posting on the topic of verbal communication skills at some point in the future.

One of the problems with body language is that you’re usually unaware of what you’re actually saying. What your body is telling others. So, how interesting would it be for you to discover more effective ways to use your body to get your message across ?

Imagine being able to create a great and lasting impression that gets you the results you really want and get the trust to be able to teach that class, get that sale, or have the harmony you seek in your family…

I will be posting a series of videos on body language and how to use it effectively in future posts…

Until then perhaps you could enjoy a fun activity. Just be aware of how people who are really great at communications skills use
their body to convey their message. You can just be curious about why they made that gesture with their hand or used that facial expression.
You will begin to be aware of what works and what doesn’t. Once you know what works for others you can model or copy those gestures until you are comfortable using them naturally…

This will take time and it’s important to remember to start with ONE thing at a time. That way you’ll become more profficient at that geture and it will become natural to others.

In my next post I am going to take you through an exercise which will demonstrate to you, beyond all doubt, how your body language affects how you feel emotionally and a super quick way to get out of being in a downer. It works every time…!